It’ll Happen to You, Too

5 min readAug 23, 2024

I’m Talking About Getting Older, and It’s Good in So Many Ways, But…

I’m not a fan of AI images, but I liked this one for this. (Pixabay)

Is it ageism? Is it fear of facing their future? Or is it just a chase for youth and good looks?

In other words, why is there such a stigma among many within the world of hedonism, of excluding, shunning, or otherwise discriminating against those who have reached a certain age?

If you are younger than 50, or whatever other number you wish to paste here… 40? 45? 60? Older?, I need to let you know one thing.

But first, I’m not here to scold, or to get preachy, or to be a downer. I really don’t want to get on a soapbox. But I do want this space to be a positive “How can we make sexuality and sensuality better in our world” space, and sometimes you’ve got to ask the questions.

Okay, back to that one thing. I know you love sex right now. I know you love fucking, and hedonism. But before you know it (and it comes quicker than you’d imagine), you’ll be that age, that number I asked you to insert above… 40, 45, 50, 60, or 70, and you know what?

If your body is good to you (and you are relatively good to your body), you are still going to want to explore hedonism, and you are still going to want to have sex, as much as you can. In many cases, even more than now.

Yes, there are hormonal and other changes that work against you with age, for both men and women. Many or most of these can be overcome or mitigated by sex-positive medical or other resources.

But I’ll argue that with aging there are many more positive changes that occur to your body, mind, and soul, that can make you even more feverish to explore, to live fully in the sexual sense.

You’ve likely gained confidence over the years. And you know, confidence is sexy.

There’s also a practical side to confidence… there’s things I’m so confidant in doing now, that I couldn’t have done when I was in my 20's.

You’ve likely had personal growth, a realignment of life’s goals, a renewing of wish lists. Maybe you’ve even had a mid-life awakening, something only attainable because of your years of life experience.

Maybe, like me, there’s parts of you that have always been within your desires and your soul, but you had to put them aside because of your real life necessities, or perceived necessities when you were younger.

Maybe through a combination of any or all of the above, plus a realignment of life’s priorities through the empty nest of kids out of the house, partial or full retirement, or other life changes, you’re ready at some point to just focus more on your pleasure.

If you’re not here yet, whether you’re a few years or many years away, you’ll get here.

This renewed, evolved person, this person who was, in the blink of an eye, younger just a minute ago, will be you. Everything you explore sexually now, you’ll not want to stop. You’ll likely even want to double-down.

Don’t forget that.

AND, I also want to address those of you of a certain age. Don’t put yourself out to pasture just because you think it’s silly for someone of your age to pursue your desires, or live out being your authentic sexual self… or even to become your authentic self, if you need to still get there. It’s never too late to start.

In my explorations, I’ve had lots of refreshing fun with those who are younger and older than me, and it’s all been special. There’s also something to be said amongst those of us of a certain age being with each other at this point of our lives. There’s a pleasure in being with someone who shares the experience of your life’s miles, your imperfect bodies. We’ve been through a lot, and it’s great giving each other much deserved pleasure. We’ve earned it.

Last point- those of us of a certain age also cannot write off the younger generations as having nothing to provide, nothing of interest to share, nothing to teach us. I’m not going to fetishize age-chasing or anything, and I don’t age-chase, but I will admit that sharing an age-gap experience that interests both (or all) of you can be invigorating to the older person(s), and a surprisingly cool experience for the younger person(s). We have a lot to share and learn from each other.

Oops! One more point, and it’s not necessarily age-related. Physically, I’m the guy next door, so I can’t attest directly to this next point. But I’ve known people of both sexes who are model material, and I will swear to you that a major complaint is that they are disappointed by those who believe that they have nothing to offer besides their physical beauty. This may be what people call a high-class problem, but I can assure you that those who feel this pain are sincere about this. There’s more than one strikingly beautiful or handsome PhD (or other very intelligent person) out there who get classified by their looks alone.

So age, beauty, whatever, it comes down to this. As a hedonist, I seek variety and new experiences, and an open mind helps maximize this. At a minimum, I guarantee that you will experience something sublime and unexpected from someone unexpected!

I’ll leave you with this long quote from this written piece, by me:

“And, 100% central to the experience:
There were all types of people at any one party and across these parties, from age 20-somethings that could have been bikini or male swimsuit models, to 50+ mom and dad bods, and everything in between, including age 20-something mom and dad bods and 50+ swimsuit model bodies.

Sexual activities and attraction were not bounded by physical beauty or body type. People sought variety, new experiences. People were attracted to people. People of different types bonded over interests, stories, a laugh, curiosity, shared travel experiences, love for a video game or a hobby, something nerdy, anything, even just a je ne sais quoi sexual spark or attraction.

When we chose one or more partners, we were intimate together because of who we were with each other, what clicked in our sexual minds and souls, or even just a mutual comfort or curiosity, wanting to share an experience. The brain is a heck of a sex organ.”

PS-
Photo Below: They’re older than I am, but I want to be this sexy and desired when I get there (and now!)… Don’t you?

It’ll Happen to You, Too

Written by The Sensual Speakeasy™